INTRODUCTION

 

Have you ever been driving on a highway lost? You try to keep your eyes on the road, while at the same time trying to read the upcoming signs to figure out exactly where you are, and how you got there. You are reading every sign carefully in hopes to find an exit that will lead you back on the correct path. You look down the passing runway exits with skepticism, wondering was that your turn: not wanting to make another wrong turn. And as the excitement of traveling is replaced with confusion and frustration, you begin to wish you had never embarked on this perplexing journey. Being lost in love can bring about the same anxieties.

I remember the first time I fell in love. I was so young and inexperienced at traveling on the highway of love. At first all things seemed well. I was making all the correct turns, and it seemed I was on my way to the City of Bliss. But then I made a couple of wrong turns (mistakes) and upset my lover. The next thing I knew, I was lost on love’s highway, trying to read its signs, trying to get back on the right road. The feeling of not knowing where I was: not knowing what turn to make next for fear of losing my way forever had become my reality.

We have all been there: losing our way on love’s highway, while exerting all our energy in trying to get back on the right route (i.e. find favor with the one we lost.)

This book will give you complete navigational skills on how to maneuver on the highway of love, and show you how to get to the City of Bliss where love is grand.

There are only two lanes on the highway of love, (i.e. two ways to love.) Learning about these two lanes of love will give you a complete understanding on where you are on love’s highway.

Many people enter the doors of a relationship without really thinking about what it takes to keep a love relationship alive. They think in their hearts and minds,

 

“If we love one another, all will be fine.”

 

Then they find themselves waking up to the horrible realization of bickering, bitterness, hurt and misery. It is absurd thinking that leads us to believe everything will be fine when love is a part of the equation. It is illogical thinking because; we enter the doors of these relations immaturely with our Pleasure Principle as our only guide.

The Pleasure Principle is the psychoanalytic concept describing people seeking pleasure, while avoiding suffering and pain in order to satisfy their biological and psychological needs. When we enter a relationship with this principle as our guide; we are propelled by emotions only. And operating through love’s emotions will only cause us to not logically weigh out the cost of being in love.

Erotic love has a way of making its participant’ believe there will be no charge for being in love. When we are under the spell of erotic love; we convince ourselves that this time will be different. We convince ourselves that this time the relationship will be free of pain and anxiety. If there is one thing experiencing life has taught the mature, it is this: anything that is to be valued (e.g. love) comes with a price. And only a fool builds a house without first checking the cost.

In infancy and early childhood, people’ behavior are naturally governed without logic. This is because at tender ages we only use the Pleasure Principle as our guide for decision making. People at this age would only seek for immediate satisfaction in order to reduce their urges of such things as hunger, thirst or even sex.

It is sad to say that many of us, although of a mature age now, are still governed by the irrational Pleasure Principle. And when what turned out before to be a failed attempt at love, we eagerly try again and again, adding nothing new to the equation, generating a perpetual cycle of seeking to be in love, (i.e. seeking to have that Pleasure Principle of ours fulfilled.)

This book will teach its reader how to break that cycle through in-depth discussion on the following:

 

1. What true love is

2. What relationships are all about

3. The difference between loving someone and being in love with someone

4. How to mature in love

5. How lovers can live together in a home of peace and harmony

 

With this book, my hope is to give you complete understanding on love and relationships. Not many things have been more of a blessing to me than having a complete knowledge and understanding on what love is.